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Friday, June 09, 2006

So its been awhile since i've had to blog last...but lately i've needed to do some soul-searching. Reflect on how life doesn't stand still and is always ready to throw a few surprises at you when you least expect it to.

In regards to andrew leaving for singapore...i know everyone wants to know how i feel and how i'm reacting...and the truth is...i feel numb. I've been holding onto something that i feel safe with. Just when i thought things could start being stable, something comes along to throw it all out of shape. Then again i question stability. I realise that it won't be long before i question why i've been so safe and why things may be starting to get boring (not that is has...but i can't stand monotomy).

But in other ways, sometimes i'm reassured by stability and based on past blogs..it seems that its all i crave....its just that I cant picture another reality. Maybe it hasnt hit me in its entirety yet and i can't imagine what it will be like until it happens...then i guess i'll be prepared to deal with it.

Don't get me wrong, its not like i haven't thought it through...i've imagined and pictured what it would be like and i know its going to be tough...but i keep thinking i can handle it...and truth is...what if i cant? I've never been a believer in long distance relationships...i've often scorned those in them and discourage those wanting to be in them... and now that its going to be me...i cant help but think i'll be weak and wont be able to handle it..

posted by Minty @ 1:03:00 pm